Avengers: Infinity War may be just ending its historic theater run with the next installment coming in 2019, but we can’t just sit here idly knowing some evil purple-faced jerk hellbent on destroying half of the universe’s inhabitants is trying to 1-8-7 our favorite heroes.
Thanos (aforementioned purple jerk) has a big ol’ gauntlet (metal glove) that can harness the power of six Infinity Stones (really strong cosmic gems) giving him the power to bend time, space, reality and a whole mess of other junk. This is why Earth’s and the Galaxy’s mightiest heroes could stub their toe en route to stopping the brute.
So what can we, a small brewery in Centennial Colorado, do? Well, you may not realize it, but you’ve been unwittingly drinking mighty galactic power during your trips to the taproom. Yeah, our beers! But don’t worry, it’s still totally FDA approved. Sadly, ingesting the power brews doesn’t imbue any galactic forces, they must be harnessed together into a glove of our own! An INFINITY GUZZLET. Think of it like Edward 40 Hands but with more beers and a way more impressive outcome. Probably the same amount of duct tape, though…
Which beers are these, you might ask? Well, assuming Thanos isn’t a frequenter of our blog, we can spill the beans. He has six stones, we have six brews.
- Panic at the Disco – This beer’s wonderful tartness and Belgian yeasted kick can cut you right to your soul, which is why we know it can compete with the Soul Stone. It doesn’t hurt that the beer’s deep red boysenberry hue also looks super sweet on our Guzzlet, cuz if you’re gonna kick ass, why not do it in style?
- Peach Therapy – The beauty of this beer comes from the wonderful esters and phenols you experience from this Trappist style ale that’s punctuated with a hint of peach sweetness. It really give you a sense of space, so it only makes sense that our space cadet beer goes head-to-head with the Infinity Gauntlet’s Space Stone.
- Red White and Blue American Wheat – This recently released beer is a classic American wheat ale brewed with raspberries and blueberries, giving it a fluffy burst of fruits on the tongue. The visually appealing color for the fruit additions can really warp your reality, which is why we’d put it up punch for punch with the Reality Stone.
- Imperial Cream Ale – This unassuming brew was made with vanilla and sweet cherries and weights in just over 8%. Given the cream ale’s natural sweetness coupled with the tasty additions, this boozy bastard can sneak up on you and warp time if you’re not paying attention. What better weapon to put up against a Time Stone?
- Dragon Chaser IPA – Folks have been very curious about this beer. What is the ratio of IPA to tea? Well, the subtle herbal kick from the tea totally compliments the hop profile of this robust IPA to completely blow the minds of the drinker. Hence, we’re putting up against the Mind Stone to blow that away.
- West Coast DIPA – This throwback to a time when IPA’s were light in color and clear as glass packs one crazy hop punch even while having the color and clarity of a blonde ale. It’s packed to the gills with hop aroma and balanced with a strong malt profile and just the right amount of bitterness. It’s a powerhouse beer, so it definitely can go blow-for-blow with the Power Stone.
There, that’s our six-step plan to save the universe, all the heroes and ensure Marvel has something to make movies about for many more years to come. Stop by the taproom and try any of these one-of-a-kind-anywhere-in-the-galaxy beers and see for yourself just how amazing they are. Just don’t ask to see the Guzzlet. It’s super heavy and the duct tape isn’t doing a great job holding it together…